There are people you meet in your life that come in for a reason, season or lifetime. Although I wish that many people who have entered in and out of my life were still with me, I believe that there was a reason or a season for each of them. Some were difficult to part with, that is for certain but others? not so much. I looked at the latter as more of a lesson in life that I could move on from – think psycho ex-neighbour nightmare 2008 / 2009 or psycho habitual lying ex-boyfriend 2004. Goodbye’s are always hard for me even if they are sometimes for the best. When I was little, other kids were excited for the last day of school, I was the girl on the school bus on the way home trying to hold my tears back because I was going to miss seeing everyone everyday and held them back so I wouldn’t seem like a big loser. Just a few months ago a dear friend of mine mentioned loosely not being around at some point in our lives and I started to cry over my dinner at Brassai. Note to self: Not a pretty sight or life of the party at the point when there are tears dripping on spaghetti. Actually, it brings tears to my eyes imagining it right now. Attachment issues? I think so. I admit it, I am a sucker and I hate goodbyes. Even if it isn’t a permanent goodbye, I still find it very difficult not seeing the person I am used to seeing whenever I want to.
As I have gotten older, I tend not to get that close to people. My friends are sensational – what need would I have to meet someone new? Your friends are your friends and sometimes new people come into your life and you just can’t help letting them in. Maybe you are the type of person who only gets close to those you work with. I am not one of those people anymore. I tried, but have realized time and again, through the years, that friendships formed at work can bite you so I try not to get too close. Of course it could just be my inability to actually trust and believe people. Perhaps a defence mechanism has been created to not really feel anything. Maybe I am just a sociopath. Yup, that must be it.
There is a reason for my rambling today. For this post in particular is because someone I have grown very attached to at work has left and is moving back to her homeland tonight. In fact, she is on a plane in the sky flying far, far away from here as I type this. This never happens to me and I certainly never write about it. I don’t usually get attached to people at work let alone mention my feelings about it. I promised Nikki, the sassy scottie who I am speaking of that I would mention her in my blog (she is an avid reader and subscribes – who knew?!) so here it is my darling – this post is dedicated to you. Of course this has nothing to do with or is payback for the surprise sweet note you left for me when I returned to work this morning and got me all teary eyed.
Nikki: You are sunshine. I mean it and I don’t use my words lightly. Pure, bright and warm sunshine. It is the first word I can think of that encompasses you. You brighten people’s days without realizing it. You are a magnificent girl who I absolutely adore. You are an excellent baker of ghouls. The way you wear your heart on your waist and the way you fishtail your goldilocks cannot be matched. Your pastel green manicures, your love for waga muffins and the way you say bye twice whenever you hang up the phone will be missed greatly.
In all seriousness, I consider myself very lucky to have met you, spend time with you, get to know you and call you a friend. Always happy, always sassy and just a pleasure to be around. Actually, most importantly I am very fortunate to have been your timesheet approver for an entire month. I felt honoured by clicking “Approve” and felt so much power when I would tell you “yes, you can leave at 5:01pm” when you were done at 5. Thank you for that and you are truly the best employee anyone could ever ask for.
I know we all feel it already, our sunshine is gone. You promised us you would return to Toronto – so you better not disappoint. We are counting on you so this is not “goodbye” this is “see you in a few months”.
This song is dedicated to you….substitute home for office.
Take it away Bill:
Miss you Sunshine – hurry back!